Please
by interioralligator
Summary: self indulgent nonsense. Frisk, Sans
1. Chapter 1

I hate myself so much

It'd been a note that was left after Papyrus left, and it was making him nervous. He wasn't sure why. It couldn't be anything good.

It never was with this kid. In everything but bad news… they were silent.

But Sans wasn't too worried. They'd always seemed to take a shine to him. Why, he didn't know. He wasn't the friendliest. Or happiest. Or helpful in any way. But they were a good kid… and he did some good things for them. At least, he thought so.

But as every day went by, he was terrified – terrified that he'd wake up somewhere else. And it would be their doing.

But even that was nothing compared to what was waiting for him. He never could've imagined what would happen in that dark room on that wretched day. When he went where Frisk had asked to meet…

He got dunked on.

There was a loud bang, and a flash, as he had tried to find the switch in the dark. Very basic, very juvenile – but the shit was scared out of him. He jumped, clutching his chest, and that's when the lights came on. A banner was strung in the entryway, painted with care: "the truth is that you got owned nerd". No punctuation. No capitalization. This was awful. This was the worst day of his life.

"but hey i actually do need to talk to you" read the note that was shoved in his face, causing him to jump again. He looked down at Frisk, sweating nervously.

This was twice in one day. His life was over.

Frisk betrayed no amusement, graciously. He wouldn't have done the same.

"Well, kid," he stuttered, "you've got me here. Nice… job… by the way."

Frisk's expression went from blank, to the biggest grin you've ever seen, to blank again in a second. Reminded him of Undyne. Then they grabbed the edge of their sleeve, wiping off the miniature whiteboard and frantically marking again.

Sans sighed, lamenting his Total Owning. He then immediately chastised himself for that sentence. "I mean, if you want, kid, I could teach you how to pull _real_ pranks. You've got potential, but that – that did nothing to me. Y—" He froze as they held up the board.

"you should talk 2 alphys about gaster"

He calmed himself down quickly. This was a kid. Frisk was good. Frisk was a friend. But he couldn't really help his voice dropping. "How do you know about Gaster?"

Frisk recoiled. They always did when he did that. It made him feel like shit, honestly. But shakily, they erased and went back to writing.

Sans internally panicked. He pushed back everything unearthing one by one. Honestly he wished he was just sleeping right now. Like he was an hour ago. He'd gotten a lot more sleep since getting out – about three hours a night. It was still tough.

"i think she could help"

"I asked you how you knew, kid," Sans murmured, "and believe me, she couldn't."

Frisk erased, and spent a long moment rubbing their chin. They seemed kind of… frustrated. Then they furiously swatted at the board and showed it back to him.

timeline

[some sort of rope, with a bunch of x's]

back / forth

you know

sory

wanted 2 help,

Sans exhaled. "Oh, kid…"

He slumped down in a nearby kitchen chair. Almost all the furniture up here was made of wood. Underground it'd been a little less abundant. Frisk sat across from him, tilting their head and placing the board and marker on the table.

He felt exactly like he had all the way back then. Except now there was this kid in it too. He didn't want them to be like him. He looked at them, worried. Still, they only gave small emotional cues. Right now they were frowning a little.

"Kid… how many times have you jumped around?"

They expressed some sort of prompt.

"I can't do that, Frisk. I can keep track of it. I can feel it. But I don't know. It's not straight lines."

Frisk frowned more, and scribbled on their board:

"a lot"

"A lot," Sans said quietly while they erased and wrote more. Waiting a few moments, he got elaboration:

"we've gotten out 3 times

ive done more

but youre always sad

someone missing"

"went back

again again again"

"i saw him"

He sat up. "You… saw him."

"wasn't good

alphys can help"

they marked around the last phrase a bit, looking at him pleadingly.

"She can't, Frisk." Sans slouched onto the circular table. "Listen… kid…" He looked up at them, and looked away. "There's not always a way to fix something. There's not always a way to get someone back. You can get hurt… and that can never go away. No matter what you do. I've tried time and time again. I've exhausted my options. I've exhausted myself. There's… a point where you have to give up."

Frisk sat still for a moment, then wrote: "no"

"Kid –"

"no"

"Kid," he glanced sideways at the floor, "What do you think you're gonna go? What else do you think _I_ can do? I've tried everything. I've gone beyond Alphys. Gaster, I… I can't help him. I can't. It's the one thing I ever believed in... The one thing I had within reach. The one thing I could hope for.

"And it was worth nothing. I don't remember how many times I've tried. But I know every single time… I _failed_. I am a _failure_. I'm dunkin' on myself, here, don't make me do this."

Frisk shook their head fiercely, hair swishing everywhere.

Sans leaned back, exasperated and upset. "Okay! Here! Kid! I didn't… I didn't wanna do this. But you know how many times you've gone back? To any point? How many times were you able to do something different? Something better? You get to a point where there's nothing more you can do. You learned about Gaster. But you still couldn't help him. Every time you went back, you were erasing your progress. Erasing your friends. Erasing me. Everything you'd worked for… everything you'd learned… everything you'd earned… gone.

Do you have any idea how … terrifying that is? To flick in and out of reality? To not really be a part of things? Now imagine you had no say in it. Imagine it happened, constantly. You're forced to be sent to relive everything, over, and over, again. Nothing has meaning anymore. Nothing is new, and every disappointment stacks and stacks until you give up. You just… stop. You let go of the reigns. You accept… that. You're just gonna have a shitty time. For a long time. And… the most you can do is have some good food. Get some sleep. Make some puns. Do you know how great that is, Frisk?"

Frisk stared down at the table.

"sorry sans

but we can fix"

"Okay, Frisk. Okay. What do you think you can do? What do you think you can try that I haven't?"

"determination."

Sans paused.

Frisk's pen hovered over the punctuation decisively, and their head tipped just a bit upward towards Sans.

"How's that gonna help?"

"alphys can help"

"Oh, shit," Sans exclaimed. "You're not talking about those experiments, are you? I'm not letting you get in those."

"youre swearing a lot"

"Oh, sh – sorry, kid. Sorry."

"it would help no one else would be hurt

makes souls last"

"I'm sorry, Frisk, but… I know you're trying really hard. And I'm sorry for – blowin up at 'ya. But you aren't really… grasping the full problem here."

"youre a scientist"

"Eheh, yeah. You found the key, didn't you?"

"you kept photo"

"Yeah, I – yeah."

"do you like star trek"

"We just got above ground a week ago, I haven't really – c'mon, kid. We're talking about something important."

"you know things alphys knows things

things+things = BIG SOLUTION"

"I like the way you worded that. But we've… we've gone over it before. She… doesn't really know all the details. No one… uh… it just doesn't…" he fidgeted. "It doesn't work. You know no one remembers him, right? He's just… gone."

"nope"

"Uh?"

"saw him, remember"

"You know what I mean."

"was he your boss"

"Yeah."

"how many jobs have u had"

"If I were your teacher I'd write you up for being off task. And also sucking at pranks."

"ok sans"

They erased, and started _really_ writing. Sans laughed. "There's no essay question."

Frisk ignored him, sticking their tongue out in concentration, writing as small as they could.

"Oh boy." He glimpsed the bottom of their sleeve, coated in blue marker residue. "You gotta stop giving Tori so much laundry, kid."

In response, Frisk shoved the whiteboard at him at full speed. He had to catch it as it fell off the table, smudging some of the writing. "Uh."

Frisk slammed their head down on the table.

"It's alright, I can still read it," Sans grinned.

"no more resetting no more determination i'm done i want to stay im tired and i want to stay here

youre right about it im sorry but im done and now you have time theres no reason not to explain to alphys if you haven't done it already how do you know she cant help you have to tell her everything you have to open up you cant keep keeping it inside you its ok now"

Sans looked up from the board, slightly touched. But Frisk's head was still on the table.

"Sorry I… put that heavy stuff on you. But that's why… why I don't want to tell anyone." He set the board down solemnly. "Frisk… this… isn't fun. It's not fun knowing these things. Is it?"

Frisk hesitated, and shook their head from side to side across the table in a sweeping arc.

Sans couldn't suppress a snort. "Ok. Sorry. But – where was I… yeah, not fun, uh. Depressing, … I'm not good at vocab. That's all it is. Depressing. Ever since all this started… I've… not been having fun. You haven't, either, have you?"

Frisk didn't move.

"Imagine if… if Papyrus had to deal with this. I… I don't want him to have to. He doesn't deserve it. Alphys doesn't deserve more stress. Undyne…" He thought about it. "Undyne would be frustrated. It's not a physical problem. I just…" he pulled his hoodie closer around him. "This is their happy ending. They've all got what they wanted, what they needed. I don't want to… to ruin everything for them. To tell them everything was… choreographed. Played like a tape."

Frisk pulled their head toward their body.

"Don't get me wrong, kid. You've… you've done such a good thing. Something I thought impossible. And you've managed it… how many times? You really do care about us. And that's… more than I hoped for."

Their head shifted, and they rolled to the side, showing a small smile. Quickly Frisk pulled back the whiteboard.

"theres something wrong youre upset about

friends are for fixing it

they will help it's ok"

Sans closed his eyes, sliding the whiteboard back across the table to them. "Alright. I'll think about it."

He felt a tug on his sleeve and opened one eye. Frisk stood next to him holding the board.

"also toriel wants to ask if she can borrow a cup of sugar"

"Oh my god?"

Frisk tilted their head.

"That's just. Weird. That's a weird thing to come up after that. I don't even have any sugar."

Frisk erased and rewrote. "Do you at least have any bofa"

"What's bofa—"


	2. Chapter 2

Every time i think about sans i Die

"Where'd you even get all this stuff?"

"Oh, this all," Alphys laughed nervously, "I already had it… You wouldn't believe what people throw away… though, uh. A lot of it. Is anime."

Sans shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets. In front of him stood two giant bookcases filled with dvds.

"B-But!" Alphys started, excitedly. "It sure is a lot easier to get it up here!"

"And finally, we've accomplished our goal. More easily attainable anime."

She was painstakingly shuffling and organizing all the cases, putting some back and moving others around. Some of them she just rotated to be right side up.

"Seems like you're, uh, busy," Sans remarked, glancing to the side. "Think I should just come back another time –"

"Oh, no," Alphys stuttered, turning around and waving her arms. "No! No! You're fine! You're fine! It's fine! I'm fine!"

At that moment, a single case fell out of the shelves. The cover depicted two men with incredibly disproportionately sized hands.

"Uh," Alphys said. Then she scrambled to pick it up and put it back, but incredibly carefully and lovingly. "But, uh," she started as she stood on her tiptoes to reach. "Why… _are_ you here?"

"Uh." Sans couldn't believe he was already adopting her stuttering. "That's actually kind of a long story. It's a lot of long stories. Not that many. Just some."

"Okay?"

"I hate this," Sans grimaced. As he was, constantly.

Alphys stared. "Well, uh. Take as much time as you need? I'm not going anywhere," she said, grinning.

Her room was dark, lit by a giant computer screen, and filled with empty soda cans and food containers. It covered the carpet in at least a foot tall layer. The only area free of trash was a giant recliner with the upholstery flaking off. Sans really admired her dedication.

"Oh! I've been! Collaborating with! Mettaton!" Alphys climbed on the chair and opened a music editing program on the four foot wide monitor mounted on the wall. "And, Napstablook and Shyren. It's really good. We're gonna release an album on Wednesday –"

"I'm sure Papyrus will want a copy."

"He, uh… keeps spamming our social media page. Enthusiastically."

"He's hung up a lot of posters around our house. That he made."

"Oh my god! Get me some?"

"Uh. Alright."

Alphys fiddled around with the music editor, and Sans looked around. It really was an admirable amount of trash. He chose a nice pile and settled down in it. It was his home now. He brushed aside a muffin wrapper and adjusted a ramen package. "So, how has everything else been?"

"Normal, I guess? More normal than usual. I mean, at least, not. Awful. Like it was before."

"Aw, man," Sans laughed, settling back. "You and me both."

"And I don't have any responsibilities now!" She smiled toothily. "And no one hates me. That's always good."

"Aw, come on, Alphys. Trust me. No one ever hated you."

"Heh…" She glanced downward. "Okay."

Sans squirmed a bit. "Hey, Alphys. I actually need your help with something."

"This isn't about how to prank Frisk again, is it?"

"No," he hesitated. "But… that's a good idea. I need to get back ahead. But not right now."

"Wait… are you saying…" Alphys leaned over the side of the chair and stared at him. "Did Frisk own you."

Sans huffed, closing his eyes and shrugging. "Nah, of course not. I don't get owned."

Alphys' face twisted into a smile and she put a hand up to her mouth. "No. Of course not. You don't get owned."

"Anyways, nerd," he squinted at her for a moment, then leaned back again, yawning. "Uh…" He stared up at the ceiling for a long time. "I need your help with… finding a cartoon I'll like."

"OH! MY GOD!" He heard the noises of her jumping out into the piles of trash excitedly. "I – I – I'VE GOT JUST THE THING –"

Sans stayed in his position, frozen. "Shit." He froze again, even more. "Uh – sorry, Frisk. For both of those."

Alphys rummaged around the bookcase and the hidden piles of dvds hidden away in trash, loudly and excitedly monologuing, occasionally posing a question she would interrupt with an answer from herself. Sans pulled himself bit by bit out of the trash pit and made his way over to her.

She yelled, "Perfect!" and turned around, just to slam into Sans and recoil, dropping multiple cases she had clutched in her arms. "Oh! Well! I've got a bunch you can choose from here, but I especially think this one is a good choice, I think you would! Like it?"

Sans rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry, Alphys, but I actually… was going to ask for your help for something else, but I chickened out because. I'm not sure why I said because. I don't have an explanation." He fake-coughed.

"Oh." Alphys looked at the cases, then looked back up, grinning. "It's no problem. Don't worry –"

– wait." He stared at the one she had indicated was her first choice. It featured a seemingly disfigured human-cat hybrid. "What is that."

"It's! Uh!" She grinned. "Nya Nyan Neko Magic!"

"That's… the one you thought I would like."

"Yeah! It seems like you!"

"It's… not. Please get it away from me,"

She ran and gently put all the cases down at the base of the shelves. While she was turned away, Sans shuddered. Something about those cat ears… deeply unsettled him down to his soul. And his bones.

"So, what did, you want?" Alphys asked, straightening up.

"I… mentioned it was a long story." Sans stared at the floor, tired. "And we've actually… worked on it before. But it was a long time ago. You might not remember it very well."

"Oh! Is this about Gaster?"

Sans stared directly into the camera.

"No, it's just that – Frisk told me. Just a little bit. They just… wanted me to help." Alphys shuffled her feet. "Truth be told, I do kinda feel like… we've talked about it before. But I don't really know – or remember – what, exactly, we did?"

"It was a while ago. It's okay. I, uh…" He looked around, grabbed a wad of grocery bags, and used it as a pillow as he reclined on trash against the wall. Alphys joined him. "I can… go over it from the beginning, if you want?"

"How about," Alphys said, "we skip this narrative, because the reader already knows it, probably."

"That's a good idea. See, Alphys? You're a smart kid."

"But what if they don't?"

"Well, I don't know," Sans said uncertainly. "Maybe they can piece some things together for themselves."

"Yeah. That makes sense."

"Anyways, it… it would mean a lot to me if you'd help. But you don't have to."

"A – alright. But," she fiddled with her claws. "I'm a little concerned about the… implications? Of this?"

Sans stared. "Like what?"

"Does this mean… we've just been… going back and forth? That we're not really in one place, I mean, essentially the same as him?"

"It doesn't mean that."

"?"

"Maybe sometimes, things outside of us take advantage. Sometimes they work us over, yeah? But it doesn't mean we're not in control. Especially now. Frisk has been doing nothing but helping. And we're where we need to be. And we're staying." He put his hands in his pockets and closed his eyes. The room was so dim that when he did so, he couldn't see anything anymore. "We're free from that uncaring cycle. So don't worry. There's nothing left but to save one last person."

"Man." Alphys sighed. "Sounds like we've got nothing to lose, no matter what, when you put it like that."

"Yeah."

"I don't have any of my stuff set up, though… I mean, I've got it all! Just, you know. Not set up."

"That's all right. We've got time."

"…Do you want to watch a cartoon and help me set up?"

"That sounds awful. I'd love to."


	3. Chapter 3

Frisk clenched their fists. Relaxed them. Clenched again.

* * *

Undyne moved heavy cargo, chatting to Alphys all the while. They were grinning. Papyrus tagged along – Mettaton and his group were jamming in the space outside –

Space. That was still a weird thing.

There was all this sky, for one. A big gaping hole. And it was so incredibly bright. Sans wondered if the underground had been this strange for Frisk for lack of these.

The project was big. The goal was big. The build was big. The world was big. Alphys' trash heap became a normal room, and then a lab, and then a _machine_. The next time Sans had gone in there, it'd been covered wall to wall, not in shelves and ramen, but in wires and cases and screens. It was pristine, like her lab in the underground. Work for a goal was good for her. She really did want to help.

A tune composed of 8bit and electric guitar wavered in, wound together with soft but operatic vocals as Sans slowly eased back into the only job he'd ever cared about. It was strange, but fit together somehow. The composition was there, you could feel it; to find the reasoning, one need only to investigate. Napstablook hadn't come out of their shell at all, because their shell was who they were. But they all were happy to be free, and it was expressed in their own ways. Their melodies came richer, fuller, and more frequent, being the unwavering voice they didn't possess (heh. possess.)

Sans was getting there. It was starting to make sense. That this would be the last time. That this would be the first day of the rest of his life, and that he'd never lose all he'd gained, ever again. That hope kept him going. It was something that'd been a long time coming. But it was coming.

He made it a point to hang around Frisk, though, in his free time. Everyone being busy, they'd been left alone more often than not. And Frisk deserved better than that. They kept drawing pictures for him in crayon, one being of him holding a microscope, one of him inexplicably on a cloud, and one of Papyrus with incredibly oversized muscles. He gave that one to Papyrus. Papyrus loved it.

* * *

Frisk rolled over, and took a deep breath.

* * *

Breaking the facts to them hadn't been fun. Existential depression is catchy.

But it turned out better than he'd ever hoped for. It gave them strength. It filled them with determination.

They were going to help. They were going to end this. They were going to make things right. And they were going to be happy.

And it'd taken long enough. No more.

* * *

Then Frisk let it out in a low, sad whine.

* * *

Things hit a wall. Things hit a very unfriendly wall.

The problem was that he was gone.

"He's not… Here," Alphys stuttered. She leafed through chart after chart of all sorts of reading across all matters of spheres and waves. "I know that was the problem, but he's just… not… here.

"If he was… we could do something. But he doesn't exist – not now. He… he didn't last." All the strength had left her voice, her body, her eyes. "I'm… I'm sorry."

Researching timelines with Gaster had been fascinating. It'd been like reaching into the fabric of existence. But monsters just didn't have the ability to change that existence – to harness it – to make it their own. Like so many other things, that privilege fell to humans. It was another loss to them. And when Gaster tried to change it, he was lost, too. His work left incomplete, his legacy lost. Sans had felt a blow each time someone didn't recognize his name. Each time someone forgot the royal scientist had existed. Each time it was so painstakingly confirmed that he was pushed aside.

Why he wasn't in that group, with the ones in peaceful but smothering lethe, he wasn't sure. If it would be better if he were, he also wasn't sure.

Sans had taken a lot of time to come to terms with that. A lot of time, a lot of experiments, and a lot of breakdowns. Eventually, he broke the machine. He locked the keys away. He got a few dozen new jobs. Made Papyrus a costume. Tried to at least, in a way he could without falling apart, emulate letting go of the situation. Because, any way you could take it, it was out of his hands. Out of his range. Too far away, too vague, too vast, for him to even begin to hope to be able to solve. Seeing the experiments Alphys started when she became the royal scientist pushed him to cut the final ties. He couldn't deal with that.

He had had to accept that he was, ultimately, helpless. Useless. In the extreme.

When the time came that the anomalies he and Gaster discovered came into play, he didn't really feel up to it. He wasn't sure he'd follow anything through. He wasn't sure he could do much more than lose sleep.

A considerate promise gave him a new stance. A new seat to watch the play. Because if he could root for anything, it would be the kid. It would be change.

The problem was that the change, at that point, ran out of cents. Fractured memories and shattered timelines jumped back and forth into play. Sans' smile grew more and more tired. He really couldn't have faith in anything, could he?

Frisk had gathered up a few pieces of that abandoned hope for him. The point of this monologue was that he clung to one of those pieces now.

"But he existed at one point."

Frisk had cried when he told them what to do. That'd been the lowest piece, hands down, of this whole mess. They had stood their ground, and shook their head, and protested. "no", they'd signed, and then written: "i promised i wouldnt. i dont want to".

But they had it figured out. They had it all mapped, calculated, made. The missing component was him. And Frisk knew where he was.

Sans told Frisk that if he could have him back, it'd be worth it. It'd be ok. That they'd be doing a good thing. They'd done nothing but good things.

That guilt came, again, of putting all this on a kid. Just another in a lineup of things that would never be right. Just another regret he couldn't erase. But he couldn't worry about that now. He couldn't really worry about anything now.

"One more time," Sans said to them, pulling the kid into a hug. "One more time, and we'll be okay."

* * *

" _One more time_ ," Frisk thought. They sat up in the buttercups, looking up at the hole in the mountain with tears in their eyes. " _And we'll be okay_."

They found a few grains of hope in this empty cavern as they closed their eyes, thinking. One was the final person they'd save. One was a friend they now were determined to keep.

He greeted them, mock cheerfully, like an old friend, as always. But was surprised when they signed that they wouldn't leave him behind this time.

* * *

Sans sat in the snow, waiting for the lady to come. She wouldn't, that day. His promise rang in the air.

Sighing and slinking down in the snow, he felt something in his sweatshirt pocket. Taking out a folded piece of paper, he found it was a crayon drawing of him holding a microscope. Where the hell did he get this.


End file.
